Recipes Are For the Weak
You know what they say about China: Everything's bigger in China. Their cards, their hair, their capacity for love, and as I'm sure you were guessing, their Dragon Boats. Now, what exactly is a Dragon Boat? Is it a boat with the fearsome prowess of the mighty dragon? Is a boat that can fly? Is it a boat that looks like it has a replica castle on it that is manned by a bunch of men who look like purple ninjas?
If you guessed the last one…well you cheated. I know you did.
See this is an American Dragon Boat:
This is Chinese:
Do you see a difference?
This weekend was the Dragon Boat festival, also known as the festival of lights. In the Late Qin dynasty, Huang and the Maccabeijings were fighting the treacherous Lomans. The Lomans had burnt down the greatest noodle restaurant in the provence and all that remained were enough noodles for one bowl. However, through faith and not eating a lot for dinner, the Maccabeijings were able to make the noodles last for 8 nights! After that, they realized that the convenience store down the street was open, so they didn't have to worry anymore. This may or may not be the history. I don't have wikipedia here, I can't do these fancy things like "fact check."
Along with the festivities (that consisted mostly of me standing in the rain), Annie, Gege, his girlfriend, his cousin, and I all made food! Ah, so now you're wondering "wtf is a gege?" Gege is Chinese for "older brother," basically anyone older than you who you treat with some form of respect etc. This also means that on any given day every single Chinese person has said the word "brotha" at some point. This also means that it is likely that the 37 black people in China have not. THE TIDES HAVE TURNED. China is actually the last refuge of those who wish they were ghetto, but could never ever in a million years actually be. Which is mostly why I'm here.
But as I was saying: food. The fact that I'm alive and writing this means…well that I didn't actually make any of the food. It's so nice having a real kitchen with real food and real safety hazards. I'll leave it to pictures to do the talking. Remember, I now, in theory know how to make all this. Just like how you only need to watch someone do something to be able to do it (e.g. gymnastics, taekwondo, sword swallowing) I have done a lot of watching, so I think I got this.
All of this coming soon to a table near you! Or maybe your table, if you're (un)lucky!